I meet myself in
metallic swirls of blood and
clumps of tissue
down the drain, water pinkish,
warm—

and I meet myself
in the sound of laughter
bouncing off tile
when I realize
what I have done, and I—

meet myself in
one-way-mirror nights
spent on my knees,
reverberating pain drawing from me
words I do not mean,
begging God for atonement I
do not deserve, and I meet—

myself in touching a body that’s
my something borrowed,
his something blue,
and I meet myself—

in the weight of canvas
draped on skin, heavy,
red-painted tally marks six weeks in,
no one can see it, and
I meet myself in—

legacy,
mishandled and
miscarried and
unmissed.

Blue Sunshine (any pronouns) is a queer poet from a small town in Georgia, Blue Sunshine (any pronouns) is the author of Is It Bad If My Gums Bleed When I Floss? (Curious Corvid Publishing, 2024). Their poetry and short fiction has previously been published by Free the Verse and Laughing Man House Publishing. Instagram